The person you share your life and your bed with is supposed to be the person you know best in the world. Yet after a relationship ends, people often find out that they barely knew their partner at all.
In 2017, two Scottish women discovered that the man they had both been dating at different times over the span of a few years had lied to them both about his true identity. However, when police heard about the methods he used to keep his secret, they arrested him and put him in jail.
A Lying Boyfriend
In May of 2016, a Scottish woman contacted her local police to inform them about something she found disturbing about her ex-boyfriend. According to the woman, she had reason to believe her former partner had lied to her throughout their entire relationship. At first, the police didn’t understand why the woman had called them.
When a Lie Becomes a Crime
Finding out you’ve been lied to can be incredibly painful, especially when the person lying to you is supposed to be the person you trust most in the world. However, lying to a romantic partner isn’t a crime. Yet, when the woman explained what her former boyfriend had lied about, police started listening.
A Disturbing Discovery
According to the woman, whose name has not been released to the public, she had dated the man from May 2013 until they broke up in January 2016. At some point after they ended the relationship, however, the woman found out that the man had lied about having a penis. Throughout their almost 3-year relationship, she had no idea that it was all a lie.
Another Girlfriend Speaks Out
At first, the police weren’t sure what to do about the messy situation, or if there was anything they could do. However, in May of 2017, police received another call from a local woman. According to the police, she had a very similar story to tell them.
A Short-Lived Romance
According to the woman, whose name has also been kept from the public, she met her former boyfriend at work. They started dating in August of 2016 and moved in together just two months later. Sadly, the relationship didn’t last and they broke up in May 2017.
The Truth is Revealed
The woman explained that the pair broke up because of financial issues. But about a month after they separated, she too learned about Carlos Delacruz’s secret. Like Delacruz’s former girlfriend, she had no idea that he didn’t have a penis their entire relationship.
The Investigation Begins
When she found out, the woman felt so violated that she felt she had to call the police to report it. After hearing an almost identical report from two different women, the police opened an investigation. They had to find out if a man really was going around lying to women he was intimate with.
The Birth Records
The police also wanted to figure out if a crime had actually been committed as a result of the lies. During their investigation, detectives learned that Delacruz had actually been born in Madrid, Spain. According to records, he had been born a female in 1983.
Living as a Man
Delacruz later changed his name to Carlos and began living as a man. As an adult, Delacruz moved to Scotland and settled in Banknock, a small village in central Scotland. While in Scotland, Delacruz continued to live as a man and never told any of the women that he dated about being transgender.
Eventually, the police brought Delacruz in to speak with him about the accusations his former girlfriends had made against him. During the interview, the 35-year-old refused to comment on the matter. However, he agreed to be medically examined while in custody.
The Medical Examination
During the medical examination, it was determined that Delacruz did not have a penis. With that piece of information, police realized that Delacruz’s lie meant he did actually commit a crime. Since Delacruz didn’t have a penis, that meant he had been using an unknown object to penetrate his sexual partners without their consent.
Once police discovered what Delacruz had been doing for the past few years, they arrested him for sexually assaulting his two former partners. During his trial, the court learned that Delacruz developed a ‘male appearance’ when he was eight years old. And when he was 16, Delacruz officially changed his name.
The Trial Begins
Delacruz had been officially recognized as a man and his birth certificate, passport, and Spanish identity card listed his gender as male. During the trial, however, the Edinburgh Sheriff Court also learned that Delacruz has not fully transitioned from female to male.
During the trial, it was revealed that Delacruz told both his former partners that he was extremely self-conscious about his body. As a result, he always got dressed in a different room. When they were intimate, Delacruz always insisted on keeping his shirt on and always turned the lights completely off.
“The accused was in a relationship with one of the women between May 2013 and January 2016 and they first had sex in May 2013. She believed she was being penetrated by his penis,” fiscal depute Kirsten Cockburn told the court. “The accused does not have a penis. She knew he was self-conscious about his body and always wore a t-shirt.”
All Part of the Trick
“[On one occasion] the accused turned his back [while in bed together] and she heard him with a [condom] wrapper,” Cockburn told the court during the trial. “The accused turned around and inserted his penis into her. During intercourse, he would hold on to the base of the penis with his hand.”
A Painful Experience
According to Delacruz’s first girlfriend, sex was always extremely painful. She was also left with a yeast infection each time they were intimate. The second victim reported that the first time she had sex with Delacruz, it was so painful that she started bleeding and had to ask him to stop. Every other time they were intimate, she would bleed for days afterward.
During the trial, the court heard that the 35-year-old penetrated the women with a prosthetic penis, which he considered to be a part of him. He even went so far to deceive his first partner about his identity that he shamed her for not getting pregnant even though that was clearly impossible.
As a result of the lies and deception, both women have since suffered physically and emotionally. One victim explained that she now suffers flashbacks and panic attacks because of what happened to her. She also felt she had no choice but to move away to get away from Delacruz. The other victim reported that she now struggles to sleep and eat.
At the end of the trial, Delacruz was sentenced to three years in prison for the assaults that took place between 2013 and 2017. He was also given a five-year non-harassment order against both of his victims. Delacruz will also be placed on the sex offenders register indefinitely.